Yo-yo's Weekend Read online



  YO-YO'S WEEKEND

  David Brining

  Copyright David Brining 2012

  Featuring:

  Yo-yo, a teenage ginger-nut

  Mister Vanilla, a forty-stone jewel thief and criminal mastermind

  Uncle Reefer, a bored boarding-house manager

  Aunty Latch, his wife

  Lily Gusset, a reverse cross-dresser

  Katze, the kab driver

  Mrs Lollipop, a bed-ridden widow

  Baby, a talking blackbird

  Doctor Molasses, a medical man

  Matron Majeiski, Ooh Matron

  Venus Periwinkle, Yo-yo's Mother

  From The Wildcat Circus

  Truss, the circus manager

  Thyme, the ring-mistress

  Rue, the painted lady and Thyme's sister

  Ruff, a ball-bouncing bear

  Dax and Jax, identical twins in a Hall of Mirrors

  Catkin Silver, the Yuman Cannonball

  The Lettuce Brothers, Chicory, Endive, Kos, Rocket, the clowns

  The Czech Mates, Jezdec, Strelec and Vez, chess-playing trapeze artists

  Jungle-Juiced Jake, a decrepit lion-tamer

  Brian, a decrepit lion

  The People of York

  Constable Kipper, a beat policeman

  Sigurd the Skull-Splitter, a Viking chieftain

  A Ghost Walker

  Martin Mizzenmast, a schoolboy and chorister and NOT a buttock-barer

  Wee Jocko McTavish, a professional Scotsman

  Eleazar Glenn, the two-hundred year old ghost of a six-year old child

  King Richard III, pub signboard, waxwork and King of England from 1483 until 1485

  William Etty R.A., a Victorian painter turned statue

  Constantine the Great, a fourth century Roman Emperor turned statue

  Wackem Thrashboy, a Victorian schoolmaster

  The Severed Head of Sir Thomas Percy, Seventh Duke of Northumberland

  Podgemeister and the Twiglet, brothers (or a rock band. If not, why not?)

  Some feisty kids from Bootham School

  An old coot whose flat cap gets pissed in

  That nice woman from that there shop that sells ladies' requisites

  Sir David Attenboroughs and him off the telly…

  The voice of Chris Tarrant

  Harry Gration and Christa Ackroyd

  The voice of Magnus Magnussonsonsons

  Her with the face like the back end of an old boot… you know which one!

  Hamish, a chocolate Labrador

  American, German and Japanese tourists, some ghosts and spirits, publicans, shop assistants, passers-by, school-teachers, Morris dancers and other assorted characters I've forgotten to list like that woman who had the little girl in the push-chair and someone else I can't remember…never mind! You'll find out!

  Contents

  First Fit

  1. Arrivals: 1119 from Dewsbury

  2. In Aunty Latch's COZEE NOOK

  3. Into the City

  4. The Circus Comes to Town

  5. Rue's Magic Box

  6. Ghost Walk

  7. First Night

  8. Morning

  9. Monkgate

  10. Bettys (est. 1919)

  11. Wee Jocko McTavish

  12. The King's Head

  13. Dr Kirk's Magic Museum

  14. Yo-yo's Little Brush

  15. The Minster's Mystery Streaker

  Second Fit

  16. Mister Vanilla in the Hall of Mirrors

  17. The Investigations of Constable Kipper

  18. The Lettuce Brothers Leap into Action

  19. Baby and the Bathwater

  20. Second Night

  21. A Walk on the Wild Side

  22. Conversation with a Head

  23. The Play of King Herod

  24. The Face of Death

  25. Doctor Molasses Comes to the Circus

  Third Fit

  26. Tea Dance

  27. Through the Tunnel

  28. Third Night

  29. Kissing on a Gravestone

  30a). Departure

  30b). Departure

  30c). Departure

  FIRST FIT

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  Huddersfieldd094510081020

  Dewsburyd1044

  Manchester Victoriad0848

  Blackpool Northd0847

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  Leeds Whitehalld

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  South Milfordd1120

  Selbyd10591132

  Broughd1117

  Hulld1135

  Church Fentond

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  Yorka10431100111211191136

  Scarborougha

  Middlesbrougha1227

  Newcastlea12071218